Are We What We Hoped We Would Become?

Goals, dreams, aspirations. Now that we are on the downside of life (it’s rather shocking to think that, especially to type it, but it’s true when we consider we don’t have as many years before us as we have behind us), it’s inevitable that we start to think on our achievements, however great or small.

That leads to the question of this: When I was young, what did I want “to be?” Most young children are asked that question and typical responses may be “a teacher, fireman, movie star, astronaut.” I don’t remember at all what I said when asked that question.

I recall that when in high school I wanted to become a librarian because I took classes in library science and fell in love with the rows and rows of books, the Dewey Decimal System and the card files (remember those?) I did not attend college directly after high school; it would be several years later before I got around to that. Instead, I wanted to get a well-paid job at a nearby military installation where everyone in the area was working. And so I did.

Movie poster for the 1976 movie, All the President's Men, based on the 1974 book by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, two journalists for The Washington Post. Their investigation revealed details of the 1972 break in at the Democratic National Committee Headquarters at the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C., and the culpability of President Richard M. Nixon's in the crime. Woodward and Bernstein's reporting of facts ultimately led to the resignation of the president. 

I took a degree in journalism in college and aspired to be an investigative reporter for a big-time newspaper (this was during the Watergate era and I wanted to be another Bob Woodward/Carl Bernstein, uncovering and revealing the secrets of corrupt politicians). Instead I worked for two small newspapers, one daily and one weekly. I did a bit of PR and volunteer work but mostly settled into a comfortable and entertaining life in the big city.

It would be another 10 years before I settled into the profession I worked at for 20 years – that of a public affairs officer for a government agency. Yes, I was able to write, but it was a long way from being the reporter I once wanted to be.

But somewhere along the way I realized I no longer wanted what I thought I did. There was a period I was so burned out and disillusioned with the journalism field that I wouldn't even read a newspaper 

So we change; we grow; we move on. But the question remains, or perhaps it becomes “are we now happy with who we are, what we have accomplished?”

I try to answer that question by testing my level of contentment and happiness now. I realize the two questions are not the same, but still, I think they are closely related.

The answer to the happiness/contentment question is a resounding yes. I have not set the world on fire but I know I have contributed to the happiness and well being of others; I have tried to live a good life; I have followed the Golden Rule. I love my family and animals and care for those who are less fortunate than myself and I want to do good for them.

But to the original question, which has to do with career and "success" in life, I would have to say I probably have not lived up to my highest potential. I did not reach the high level of success that some have. But I made choices along the way that led me down a different path.

And you know what? It doesn't really matter after all. And still, I have dreams and goals yet to be achieved and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Yikes, now that I read this I hope you don't think the subject morbid or depressing!

Do you ever think along these lines and wonder what changes you would make if you could “relive” your life? I'd like your views on the subject.

I hope we can get an ongoing dialogue about this.