Being Comfortable in our Own Skin

Self-confidence is a trait that makes all of us beautiful. It’s more important than the right clothes and hairstyle (although those things can help!).  It’s easy to spot a self-confident person and we’re not talking about the self-centered bore who constantly brags on herself or acts cocky. We’re talking about a self-confidence that allows one to actually forget about self, not worry about the “impression” she is making or constantly worrying about how she looks.

I lacked self-confidence in my younger years. I always thought someone else was cuter, more popular, having more fun, happier, had more money, more friends. Well, you get the idea. But the older I got the more self-confidence I developed. I stopped comparing myself to others and celebrated my strengths and accepted my weaknesses. I am finally happy with who I am, what I have accomplished and my status in life. Does that mean I have reached the status quo and am no longer striving? No, not all! I still have my dreams, plans for what I want to accomplish and am making plans for a wonderful future.

Each of us is a phenomenal person in a different way; we have different dreams and aspirations. I think there are some universal rules, however, that can inspire all of us to change or improve our attitudes and become even more self-confident women.

    We must learn to like ourselves. If we don’t “like” ourselves, then we must work to determine why and set out to change it if we can. Maybe the face we show the world is not really “us,”, or who we consider ourselves to be, but in the deep recess of our hearts and souls, we must ask ourselves who the “real” me is and take steps to get in touch with that person.

    We must stop trying to blot out the “bad stuff.” We must accept our past mistakes and appreciate that those mistakes have made us a better person. No one else remembers; you shouldn’t either.

    We must not play the “blame game.” We’re adults now and should not blame an unhappy childhood or someone who hurt us years ago as the cause of our problems today. Seek counseling if you need to work through these things.

    We must dream; we must have goals.

    We must live life passionately. Be excited about something!

    We must accept our limitations. We should not push ourselves past what we can’t handle or try to handle more than we are capable. Set small, doable goals to begin with. Baby steps before giant steps. Doing it will make you stronger. We are not perfect; we all make mistakes and sometimes it takes more than one try to get where we want to be.

I offer the above list only as guidelines to get us thinking. I’m sure numerous books have been written on each of those topics, so the list is just a “jumping off” point for further study.

The following quote is from Lisa McCourt, a best-selling author, from her article, Top 10 Ways to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin.

“Being comfortable in your skin and living with authenticity is knowing precisely who you are and passionately adoring who you are—with all the countless accoutrements and benefits that come along with that practice. You are spectacular. Not the elaborate representation of You that you routinely show the world, but the raw, uncensored, vulnerable You underneath all of that. Find that You and learn how to deeply love and honor that You. That’s feeling blissfully comfortable in your own skin, and it’s the secret to everything you’re longing for.”